I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i dont even know how to be here
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
