I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
