brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
