she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Randomize
