YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
