Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
