Screwed.edu
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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