Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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