i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
