Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
