i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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