ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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