Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
