his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
