Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
