and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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