Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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