I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
