I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
