I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
