i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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