dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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