come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
