lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
