Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize