You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
