What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
