My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
