I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
