Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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