I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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