I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
