Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we're so committed to being not committed
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Someone signed my nipple.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
