I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
