the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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