I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
