is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
