so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
