I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
