If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
