And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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