I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
