I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
