whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
