Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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