my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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