He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
