I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
