It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm bleeding and have questions
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
