thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
