I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
