If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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