so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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