I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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