you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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