I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
