I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
