After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
